Dear Santa,
I know I am probably wasting my time writing to you, because you probably aren’t really real…but just in case, I have a few requests.
First, please take my name off of your naughty list. You know me better than that!! Of all people, you know half of the crap I post here is not the REAL me. So what if it lives somewhere deep within my twisted subconscious and surfaces here, does the conscious me have to pay the price for it??!!
Second, please send me some sort of subliminal messaging machine so that when people come to my blog they not only stay and read a few posts and leave incredibly flattering comments, but I want it to also make them mindlessly leave my page up for hours or even days in a separate window on their computer so my Google Analysis stats look really good!!!
Third, and last of all, please don’t get offended that I tell everyone that you are really the devil.
You and I both know it is true.
It is not my fault that people are too blinded by your disguise and a little too illiterate to realize that Santa is an anagram for Satan. You know that I have a hard time with illiteracy in general!!
It is nothing personal, really. I’m sure most of them have no idea what an anagram is, and would never take the time to Google it…and those that think they do know probably are mistaken anyway and think that I am saying that you are an antonym of Satan.
So it works out well for you anyway!
Well, I guess that’s it.
Thanks Satan…er, Santa!!!!
Chelle B.
Tuesday, December 25th, 2007, 2:25 am | 
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December 25, 2007 at 3:41 am
hmmm and what makes you say Santa is Satan besides the fact that if you rearrange the letters it spells Satan. Mmm he’s just imagination, so I guess he could be Satan if you really wanted.
December 25, 2007 at 3:51 am
Well I am superstitious so I am not taking any chances!!
December 25, 2007 at 4:12 am
Excellent Santa letter … Best to put him on the defensive, right?
I hope you find what you wished for underneath your Christmouse tree! I wished for Temptations an’ a big bag of primo ‘nip!
DMM
December 25, 2007 at 4:22 am
Oooh my second request is already working! Flattering comments!
Thank you Daisymae.
December 25, 2007 at 5:00 am
i was going to leave a comment, earlier but…my husband stole the computer…right out of my hands! but…your blog…hilarious! love it! can i stay here? do you mind? i’m not stalking…just staying…a big difference!
have an awesome holiday!
December 25, 2007 at 5:31 am
Simplepleasures, sure you can stay!!
Heck, you can even stalk me…that would be kinda cool, I’ve always been somewhat jealous of people who rub it in my face that they have a stalker…
:p