The "Slicksumbich" Offensive

God, I love bloggers who know how to do it right!!

I just have to share with you that I have never been more offended in all my blogging days than I was a couple of days ago!! That's right, and I am still smiling about it today. I will cherish the moment for the rest of my life!!

Well, for at least a week, week and a half.

OK, probably only until I finish typing this post and then I'll forget all about it and move on to something else since I am incredibly ADD.

But still!

Honestly though, it really was fecking brilliant. It was a completely unexpected offense and the funny gobshite bastard who did it probably has no idea how much has offended my happy arse.

(No, I am not Irish, I just love their dirty words! I can't help it, I love fecking, and arse and gobshite, don't you? Those Irish have the best curse words ever! Hooyah. Only the Brits run a close second in my book)

I'm sorry! Where the feck was I??

Oh yes, the offense!

It was brilliant. Bloody, fecking brilliant.

I actually can't even remember how I found this guy's blog, to be honest. I think I was googling myself and he popped up and I saw where he had offended in his header so of course my curiosity was piqued.!! Yours would be too, if you were The Offended Blogger like I am.

Oh, wait...heh, that sounds a little dirty, huh. Me googling myself and him offending in his header.

Please, allow me to rephrase that....

Anyhoo...so I like to run google searches on the words "offended blogger" every day or so, to see where I rank in the scheme of things (btw, I am all of page one, most of page two and half of page three ~ hooyah!) and I think this guy's blog was in there somewhere because in his header it says something like "Offended? Good."

I mean, right there, before I ever went further, I knew we had a special connection, you know?!

He totally had me at the first post, too. Not only is he funny and has a nice layout, but he looks just like my favorite older brother to boot.

Ugh, too bad he is MIA though!! Why is it that my timing is always like this?? Kind of like Brent's friend Spooky, another missed and missing blogger, this guy seems to have just bailed on his blog.

He obviously has a lot of fans who are really missing his offensive self, too, judging by the comments left at his last post! They practically hold candlelight vigils over at his blog, it is very touching.

Anyhoo...I wasn't really offended by his material, just thoroughly entertained and enlightened. And after about ten minutes at his place, I realized why he is so missed!! I was literally crying both tears of laughter at his humor and tears of sadness over his absence! It was very odd, I went through twelve boxes of Kleenex in that ten, life changing minutes.

I may never be the same, really. Good blogs just seem to do that to me.

So, I went to leave him a comment to let him know how much I admired him and that I, too, was going to join in on the candlelight vigils because I wanted him to come back and... BAM!

That's when it happened!

I was so completely offended as I went to send him a comment, and it was so unexpected and totally delightful that I knew I had to dedicate an entire post to him over at my place.

At first, I thought it was just a totally random yet extremely humorous glitch.

I had already hammered out what I wanted to say, filled in the required user name, email and URL boxes, and it was then that I noticed that his little word verification thingy wanted me to type in a VERY NAUGHTY WORD!!

Heh, my heart leapt, of course!

Thinking it was just one of those funny coincidences, I hit the refresh button, secretely hoping that it wasn't a coincidence, and again...up popped another equally naughty word!

I couldn't believe my eyes!

So of course, I did it again, and again and again again again. I must have seen every dirty English word or phrase out there!! Well, at least half a dozen really good ones.

How the hell did he do it??

I don't even care, I just know that he really is a slicksumbich, just like his blog says. I literally peed myself before it was over. (Well, ok, not really, but I could have if I wanted to. I have excellent control down there thanks to all of those kegel exercises my husband insists that I do!).

So, of course I took a screen shot of the last one before I finally submitted my comment, for your enjoyment and for my own reminiscing, and so we can all laugh over my wonderfully offensive blogging moment:

You can play with it too, over at http://www.slicksumbich.com/ and while you are there, grab a candle, leave a comment for him and maybe together we can bring this funny slicksumbich back out of hiding.

The blogging world really needs offensive people like him, and we just can't let him go without a fight!!

I am still smiling, thanks to that gobshite bastard....

This post is pining for the slicksumbich to come back over at:

***UPDATE***

Heh, I am fecking amazing. Slick has come out of hiding! As soon as I posted this, I found where he'd left a comment on my Kanga & Roo post! Hooyah, go me. Ok, it probably wasn't me, but at least let me think it is, you gobshite bastards!

Feck.

Now, to celebrate my incredible talent for pulling bloggers from hiatus, you can go play with his comment verification thingy and have some fun offending yourself!!