The Weekender Offender

This Weekender Offender is dedicated to the late, great Jim Morrison, the Lizard King himself, as well as Stephanie, the winner of my “Weekender Offender” award because of her neglecting to mention that baking soda will scrub the ick off after visiting my blog!!

Go visit Stephanie over at her place and play Candyland with her!

Now then, I owe a big thank you for everyone who participated in “Guess My Offense“!! It was not only fun to put together, but even more fun to see just what sort of deviant offender you imagined that I was as a child.

I’ll definitely be doing it again next week as a warm up to the next Weekender Offender.

Now then, to reveal which offense I, Chelle B., child genius extraordinaire, executed!!

I think I’ll start with the ones that aren’t mine, which are….numbers one and three.

That’s right, I could never have done number one, as spiking a teacher’s drink would have been unthinkable (until at least middle school!) for me!!

(Disclaimer: never, ever spike someones drink. It is not only wrong but could rack up some bad karma for you!)

Number three is an evil and brilliant plot, and I am flattered by those who had faith in me for pulling that one off, and had the opportunity arisen for me at age 13, I quite possibly would have tried to pull it off, but, sadly, it was just the figment of my own adult evil genius imagining.

(Disclaimer: don’t try it because it probably wouldn’t work anyway, people know their own dogs for notgod’s sake!!)

So, that leaves us with number two, stealing from my mother to pay for my candy bar addiction. Most of you chose this one and you were right!

Not only did I steal enough to cover the ones I had eaten, but I took $2 extra in anticipation of eating two more candy bars!! Now that, my friends, is the sign of a true evil genius.

In my defense, I did not know the silver dollars were family heirlooms and luckily my mother counted the money before we turned it in to the school. She got her coins back, and I couldn’t sit down for a week afterwards.

But hey, the therapist is helping me work through the trauma of it and I did get to go to science camp, so it all worked out!!

(Disclaimer: stealing is wrong and you will most likely get caught, as I did!!)

So the winners of this week’s “Guess My Offense” are:

Alan/Libdrone (who was the first one to get it right

Mr. Breeze (who knows me better than anyone since we are related by marriage!)

Shanow5 (my incredibly intelligent 15 year old son.)

GFRNGYJUKMIUBD (aka Puff Matty who is in desperate need of a spelling tutor!

theaspiringhorseplayer (who really knows how to play the odds!)

Uri Kalish (who undoubtedly knows more Hebrew than I do!!)

suchsimplepleasures (who almost picked number 3 but listened to her instinct and got it right!!)

techfun (who introduced me to notgod and changed my life forever!

Slick (that slicksumbich who still makes me smile thinking of his naughty comment verification thingy! Oh and hey Slick, URGAY!! :p )

Mike (who is very sweet because although he knew I was capable of one of them, he wanted to believe I wasn’t capable of #3!!)

moooooog35 (who also makes me smile with his offensive mental poo and who was also a cunning, evil genius child and because of it deserved that ill gotten $5!!)

tsunade (who is my sweet and very perceptive 13 year old daughter and knows to do as I say, not as I do, or did!!

GoSmelltheFlowers (who would NEVER have done such an evil deed, because flower people have a higher set of convictions than the rest of us!!

LeopardSkinPillBoxHat (who really scares me and needs to either see a therapist or a priest or both!! Five Hail Mary’s and some prozac!!)

Stephanie (whose worse offense I imagine was probably not washing her hands before dinner!!

NotGod (who answered my prayers and made it stop snowing here!! I love you notgod!!!)

Unfettered (who thinks he is fat but is in denial! :p )

Adorable Pancreas (who has made me question what I thought a pancreas looks like!!)

So, congratulations to the winners, and feel free to snag your trophy, you deserve it:

And remember to play again next time on “Guess My Offense!”.