The "Fatwa the Rest of You, Too!!" Offensive

Well, let me just say, my Fatwa list is a lot longer than before!

There were quite a few readers who had some well deserving, highly Fatwa-able bastards in mind and I am more than happy to oblige!

You know me, I am nice that way! :)

The requests were great, too!

Like, .45 who wants me to Fatwa yuppies.

Now, I wasn't sure if it was just the ones in his neighborhood or ALL of them in the world, so to be safe I put them all on my list.

They are so frigging annoying with their stupid little "smart" cars and their deer-in-the-headlight looks whenever I get right up on their asses in my gas-guzzling monster truck and scream Irish curse words at them while they are trying to pull into the Green World Market parking lot to buy organic orange juice!!

Hooyah! That is fun!

Heh, between you and me, I hope .45 doesn't mind if I save just a few of them for my own twisted pleasure!!

Oh, and then there is Truckindog who requested a Fatwa against used car salesmen.

I mean, who wouldn't want them Fatwa'd??! Those lying, cheating bastards have been racking up Fatwa karma for far too long. Probably even before cars were invented!

Heh, I bet used horse salesmen were just as frigging Fatwa-able and worthy of jihad even.

Those sorry bastards, they are definitely on my list!!

(Oh, well... of course, unless YOU are a used car salesman, then you are exempt because you are my #1 fan!! :)

Then there was hammy who had two request , one for James Blunt (hate him - on the list!) and the other for missionaries.

Now, I was torn here, because as you may or may not know, I lived in a very nice Mexican mission recently and the sisters there were just awesome! I missed Jesus though, so I came back. :)

On the other hand, I do live as a non-Mormon in an area that is roughly 98.6% Mormon and let me tell you, I have already put almost every one of those bastards on my Fatwa list!!

Frigging Mormons.

(Oh, well, unless you are one of those too, then you are exempt, of course!! )

And last but not least, is my good friend moooooooooooooooooog who didn't come right out and ask for it but sounded like he really wanted me to declare a Fatwa on Disneyland.

I am totally with him there, I used to live by Disneyland and let me just say that it is NOT the happiest place on earth!! Call me crazy, but even as a kid I never really enjoyed going to Disneyland.

Welllllllll, except there was that one time when I dropped acid and went, hehe.

That was a trip!!!

Anyhoo... that is all the Fatwa requests so far, feel free to add your own to my growing list.

Oh yeah! I almost forgot!!

Before I can get down to the Fatwa-ing, I need you to help me decide which camo burka I should wear!! I mean, I can't be seen Fatwa-ing without one. It is in the handbook and I am all about rules, you know.

So, here is my first choice, I think it is very pretty on her and would look just as nice on me:


Hmmm... I just hope it doesn't come with Benjamin Netanyahu's head, because he is my very own Jewish Master!! I so love him.

And then there is this one, which is a little more conservative and not as pretty but quite versatile:

It is actually my personal favorite now that I think of it. I could use it for Fatwa-ing, bow hunting AND for scaring the neighborhood kids too!

I do like versatility. :)

And lastly, there is this one, which my hubby picked out:

Yeahhhhh, we always have different tastes on these things, but as long as I can Fatwa in it, I am happy!!

Oh, and plus... it comes with a bonus to help me with my Fatwa-ing:

I did always want a Spongebob Ruger to go with my Hello Kitty AR-15!!

Hooyah!!

:p

This post is Fatwa-ing everyone who doesn't like me over at:

Stumbling cures a Fatwa hangover, though! :)