Hey fellow offenders, it’s the weekend again, and this Weekender Offender is dedicated to George, my neighbor’s dog.
Yep, good old George.
He really is a sweet dog, aside from the fact that thanks to his dumbass owners, he is free to roam the neighborhood day and night, crapping in everyone’s yards, rummaging in our open garages or getting into the trash cans that he knocks over.
His favorite past time is trampling our flowerbeds and generally being a real pain the the ass all over the neighborhood.
In fact, once it warms up enough, it won’t be long before he sees me outside working on these again:
(Yep, that IS the little waterfall and pond me and hubby built together last year! Pretty nice, huh? 
Anyhoo, we have tons of planting to do around it this year, so once he sees us out there, he’ll be like this:
Ugh.
He thinks if I am digging in the dirt, he should come and join me!!
Yep, and even when I’m not out there, he’ll still keep on running over to crap in my yard, dig in my pond and sleep in my flowers. I won’t tolerate it and I’ll have to get into it with my neighbor again and again over how frigging annoying and disrespectful they are to allow him to be so frigging annoying and disrespectful.
Of course, I’ll have to point out that just like everyone else in my ‘hood, they have a whole acre for George to roam, not to mention a very large, nicely fenced area that they could keep him in so there really is no frigging excuse for him to be in my yard, EVER!!!
Heh.
Knowing me, I’ll ask nicely a few times and then start to get really pissed off and tell George and his owners that if I catch him in my yard again, I am getting a pellet gun to shoot his ass with, even though George and I both know I am bluffing:
Dammit. It’s true, I admit it!
Only because George is really a total sweetie pie and it’s not his fault that he has ignorant, dumbass owners who refuse to teach him manners!!
Still, I have no problem doing it the right way so then of course a few days later they’ll see me outside and they’ll act like they just can’t understand how in the world poor, innocent George ended up here:
For the twenty seventh time that week.
As usual, they’ll blame it on the grumpy old man around the corner, because for some reason they don’t believe that I am heartless enough to do such a thing to George.
Heh.
Fine with me if they think it was the grumpy bastard around the corner!! Little do they know that the number to Animal Control is on my speed dial. I’m not afraid to use it, either.
Wouldn’t you?!!
Damn, I just wish they’d lock up my neighbors, too.
Frigging George.
George likes to mark his territory over at humor-blogs.com, too!!
Saturday, March 29th, 2008, 1:00 pm | 
Weekender Offender | 
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