So the other day I started to get a bit offended as I was trying to explain to my hubby all about why being grown up really isn't better than being a kid. He just didn't seem to get it and it was really pissing me off!!!

I mean, how could he not understand that life was SO much easier before adulthood?

I gave him so many reasons why I'd give anything to go back to that blissful time in my life before I worried about 'adult things'.

Like, for instance, there was a time when I had NO idea that I'd have to grow up and worry so damn much about these people:

Now, I not only worry, I want to do something to help them and I feel completely powerless, which really sucks.

:*(

Yeah.

So I told him all about how I really enjoyed the complete ignorance I used to have when all I thought about China was this:


Between you and me, why can't China just be about that cool ass wall and sweet and sour chicken, instead of all the other shit they do, which includes killing all those poor Tibetan people?!

Fucking Chinese bastards.

Ugh.

Oh, and since that didn't convince him, I tried explaining to my hubby about how I distinctly remember a time when a graph about the stock market was something completely foreign to me:


Now not only do I look at such graphs, but I actually understand them and worry about the data that is in them and how it affects our portfolio!!

Yes, I said it - portfolio.

Who the hell ever expected they would grow up and have a retirement portfolio that is directly affected by the fluctuation of the stock market?!

Honestly.

Just saying 'stock market' really makes me miss the days when the only time I 'played the market' was when me and my little friends would pretend to shop with our Monopoly money and these:

Heh.

Do you think we worried about rising food prices due to rising fuel costs or how NAFTA affected the quality of the goods and services we bought with our Monopoly money?

Hell no!

Did we care if the fake coffee we bought was purchased through "Fair Trade" practices?!

Of course not!

We didn't even pretend to wash our fake fruits and vegetables before we pretended to eat them, because back then, we didn't know we could die from eating unwashed fruits and vegetables!!

Do I know that now?

Ugh.

Oh, and the words 'housing' and 'bubble' were NEVER used in the same sentence in MY vocabulary, well at least not up until I was unwillingly forced into adulthood:

And now?

Ha!

Now, I not only talk about the housing bubble, but I can give a very grown up opinion on what I believe led up to it and what impact it will have on the US and global economy!!

Do you know what is worse?

I even know who Ben Bernanke is, and I can tell you all about Alan Greenspan and how his fiscal policies led us into this fucking housing bubble and why I think Congress needs to butt the hell out and let it play itself out rather than bailing out all of those god damned investors who don't deserve it!

Ugh, again!!

See? I even sound all grown up ranting about it, don't I? :p

Gosh, I'd give anything to trade that stupid 'housing bubble' phrase back in for 'Hello Kitty Bubble Gum' instead:


Oh, and besides all that, what about all the pressure I feel if I don't do this every time an election comes up:


Hey, I'd love to say "fuck you!" to whoever made that button, because maybe I don't want to vote smart!!

Hell, maybe I don't want to vote at all!!

Did that occur to them?!

Oh, nooo... because I'm an adult, so they think that I HAVE to vote.

I owe it to society even if I think all of the candidates are fucking devil-worshipping cannibals who sacrifice small children to Molech each year at Bohemian Grove while they plot the next step in their plan for bringing about the one world order that will destroy us all:


Yeah, like I needed to know about that shit!!!

I'd much rather just go back in time when the most interest I had in politics revolved around this:



Haha, yep, I loved that one too!

Gosh, life was so much simpler back then.

Back before I became an adult and learned about the poor Tibetans, worried about my portfolio and the stock market, or knew who Alan and Ben were or how they contributed to the housing bubble, or felt obligated to vote for some devil-worshipping cannibal bent on world domination!!

I mean, I'd like to think that I have a real shot at world domination, I don't need to know I have such stiff competition!

Bastards.

:(

Anyhoo... like I said, I tried telling my hubby all my reasons of why I think it really sucks being a grown up, but even after explaining these things to him he still didn't agree that being a kid was better.

It didn't take long before I eventually had to agree with him, too!!

Yep, all it took was for him to remind me that back then, before I became a woman, there was only one definition in my vocabulary for this:


Haha. I just love him and his simple way of looking at things and as usual, he was right!

Being a grown up is sooooooooooo worth putting up with all that other stuff.

Hooyah!!

:)

There are plenty of people who haven't grown up yet over at humor-blogs.com :)