That's right, I did make up my own cool 'day of the week thing', like Wordless Wednesday or Half Naked Thursday (which I chickened out of today) and I am calling mine "WTF?! Friday Challenge" and you better participate or I will say WTF?! and probably Fatwa you, too.
The rules are simple!!
I start by giving you a picture and some clues, and then you get to try and tell the whole "Offensive" story of the picture with the clues I give you!!
It SOUNDS pretty easy, huh?!
Hehe, we'll see. :)
So for my 1st installment of WTF?! Friday, I am starting with this picture of me at around age 10:
Now, here is a list of things that tell the story of that picture:
1) duct tape
2) babysitting
3) a MEAN older brother and sister
4) a very, very, VERY dark coat closet
5) a cassette tape recorder
Soooooo, can you tell the story with these clues??
Come on, give it your best shot!!!!
I'll post the whole sad and sordid tale over the weekend but whoever figures it out first wins... ummm, let's see... how about a gift certificate for some of Jesus's famous tacos??!
:)
So, WTF?! is up over at humor-blogs.com??
26 Offensive Comments
OK, I might not get my own blog posted today as a result of this, but here goes:
Duct tape is a metallic gray fabric with adhesive on one side. Obviously a metafore for the Hawley-Smoot Tariff of 1930.
Babysitter refers to certain adolescent fantasies I...that is, many males have concerning lost youth and hot cheerleaders.
Mean older brother and sister: Zuni Native American creation myth(?) (See Shwemmer and Jones, 1968)
A very, very, VERY dark coat closet: This one confuses the hell out of me. I mean how many of us can afford closets just for our dark coats? Some kind of obscure reference to income disparity.
A cassette tape recorder: (tape:see part 1) (Recorder:a small wooden wind instrument.)
When combined with the stick figure (obviously aboriginal) the stories meaning is quite clear (Starting us with an easy one, eh Chelle B.?)
The early 20th century indian ledgend of the stealing of fire from the thunderbird cloak tribe by pom-pom girl, who hides the fire in a broken flute.
So when do I get the taco?
Once upon a time a beautiful little stick figure girl was left by her aloof parents to be babysat by her very MEAN older brother and sister (who played doctor with each other but you didn't hear it from me).
The evening started out very poorly and was just getting worse. Just when the very smart stick figure girl was starting to lose her temper with the unbearable meanness, a gigantic, muscular pink unicorn burst through the living room wall and screamed "OH YEAH!". The unicorn impaled the meanies a little then wrapped them up in duct tape and crammed them into a very, very, VERY dark coat closet that was full of spiders.
For the rest of the evening, the polite stick figure girl and the heroic pink unicorn listened to the Partridge Family and the Osmonds on her expensive tape recorder while snacking on pizza puffs.
The end.
p.s. The mean brother and sister learned their lesson and became loyal servants when the rich stick figure girl moved into her mansion that floated in clouds above the world.
Why in the hell did your folks put you in charge of your older brother? Geez . . .
Uh, your older brother and sister, duct taped you in the closet with a recording of jungle drums playing, to try and sacrifice you to your giant monkey like babysitter, called Valerie.
friggen Hysterical.
Don ~ LMFAO! You get a taco just for the effort you put into that, I am crying laughing from it.
Oh, and you are so far off it isn't funny.
Well, it's funny, but ya know. :p
GorillaSushi ~ Wow! You are so very close I am almost ready to declare you the winner!!
I have a feeling you were a VERY MEAN older brother or something hehe.
Alex ~ Close! But her name wasn't Valerie it was...
Oh, sorry, you have to wait for my Weekender Offender post. :p
ok, its almost like I was there...this is how it went down..
Your parents went out for their weekly Bingo fix and left u home with your siblings because the babysitter was dead.
You insisted on watching The Flintones or Saved by the bell, depsning on your age of course, and they wanted to throw in a pron flick your parnets had hid in the laundry toom closet..
You put up a fucking fight so they duct taped your mouth and threw u in the closet..little did they know u have stellar night vision, so u got yourself out..
So then the duct taped your hands behind your back and thru u back in..
Little did they know again the old tape recorder was stahsed in the closet, so u put it to good use..
You got all the
"fuck me harder"
recorded on the machine as proof to the units you were indeed gagged and tortued and hel captive against your will while they watch Debbie does Dalles.
See, just like I was there huh?
Flip Flop Momma ~ BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nope sorry, not even close.
OK, maybe a little.
Hmm.. maybe I will just use your version because that is SO DAMN FUNNY!!! :p
They locked you in a closet, duct-taped you somehow, but left your mouth free, and then recorded your complaints?
Here's hoping I'm wrong.
Mark ~ Hahaha!!!
SOOOOO CLOSE!!!
Not saying which part is wrong, but dang, that was a very good try. :)
Think I'm gonna stick with "Anok unmasked" ~ Ninja's crying on tape recorders after being duct taped after babysitting mean older brothers and sisters in your VERY VERY dark coat closet??
markstoneman said:
"They locked you in a closet, duct-taped you somehow, but left your mouth free, and then recorded your complaints?"
and I'll add that it was your brothers and sisters that locked you in your closet and they played the tape recording to get the babysitter in trouble.
It was a warm sunny day and the Offended Bloggers parents had a Christmas party to attend too. (yes warm and sunny, she grew up in California). The Offended known as Lil Chelley Belly way back then was left under the care of her mean older brother and jealous of Chelles good looks sister.
The two older siblings were bitter and very very angry about having to watch their sweet lil chelley belly for the night, that they first thought about selling her to the Gypsy family that lived next door, they thought she could do well with them. But thankfully decided against the sale of their sister.
They decided to duct tape her arms and legs so she couldn't move around. For the first hour or so it worked out well, but The Offended just couldn't stop talking and yelling. They wanted to duct tape her mouth shut but thought that to cruel even for their sister.
After hours of her yelling they threw her in the closet in an effort to muzzle the sounds exploding from her mouth...
Still duct taped, it was useless. But Lil Chelley Belly was actually making them laugh, as annoying as it was, they started recording her.
Chelley Belley went on ranting and raving about being duct taped and locked in the very very dark closet for hours, But this time her brother and sister were recording her.
After about an hour of quality time on the tape, they turned the tables on her and played the tape back, with the volume set at maximum The Offended Blogger was bombarded with her own voice for hours.
Eventaully, the so young Chelley Belly fell asleep. Her brother and sister took her from the closet, removed the duct tape and put her in bed before her parents got home from the party.
The next morning, her cries to her parents went unheard....
lol...I can't finish, I have to go pick up the kids at school....dang!!!
What!!??
Come on Silvia! No serials! Get back in here and finish the story!
SWEET....
Glad u enjoyed it...
:)
House on a hill ~ Ohhh, sorry, no ninjas were involved.
If only there were, I may not need therapy today! :p
WIGOB ~ Dang, you are also soooo close, but sorry, no banana!
Er, taco. :p
Stay tuned!!
Sylvia ~ YOU GOT IT!!!
OK, not really but omg you were the closest one yet!!
Tomorrow you will be shocked at how close you came to getting the story right!! ;)
You people are thinkin' way to sweetly of a 10yr old younger sister. I know-I was a younger sister!
Your brother and sister were talking and you...being the bratty younger sister taped what they were saying. It was probably something they wouldn't want your folks to know...so, they duct taped you up, threw you in the closet, and scared you until you agreed not to tell!
:)
I'm not gonna read anyone else's story because mine is the true one.
-
Your brother and sister told you about the birds n the bees and you were so traumatized, you decided to duct tape them in a dark closet until they told you they were lying. Then, just to be sure, you recorded it.
Oh, and you were babysitting a monkey.
-
What do I win?
BTW, I'm starting my own special day but I'm calling it "Fuck off Friday on a Saturday".
You likey? ;o)
Bee ~ You had it all the way up to the monkey part!! Dangit.
Ok, I lied. You only got the monkey part right.
Or not! :p
I am so in on the Fuck off Friday thing!!
(Notice I posted my WTF?! Friday on Thursday? hahaha!)
Diamond Digger ~ ...
*whistles*
Oh, I'm sorry, did you say something?
*whistles some more*
:p
Thou art a heartless trollope for tempting writers thus - I shall not succumb:)
Well I will you heartless trollope!
But my standards (and obviously, will-power) are a little lower than frankr.
Post a Comment
Remember, anything you say might highly offend someone... but hey, to hell with those sissy bastards, say it anyway!!