First of all, thanks to everyone for making this Weekender Offender contest a success!! All of the entries were funny, offensive, and worthy of an award, but as you know, I have to pick just one winner.
It isn't easy to choose, believe me!!
I'd like to choose you all, but as a token of my appreciation, please feel free to copy the following graphic onto your blog and encourage your own readers to join in next time:
Oh, and I'll be adding all of those who entered into my blogroll, as a token of gratitude and because you all have some kick ass blogs. :)
I also decided that I will be running the contest all the time from now on!
So, starting tomorrow, there will be a link at the top of the blog that will take you to the entry post, and I'll even add a voting button so that you can bribe people you know to come and vote for your offensive entry!!
Hooyah!!
:)
You better remember to enter though, dammit!! Don't make me come and spam your blog reminding you, either.
Cuz I will.
OK, so I know what you're thinking, "Chelle B., shut up, hurry the hell up and tell me if I won or not!!".
Man! You are impatient!!
Ugh.
I shouldn't tell you at all now.
Oh, alright, this week I chose:
The Offended Blogger
For the following offensive joke:
Q: How do you make a 10 year old boy cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody dick on his teddy bear
:D
Haha, just kidding!!!!!!!!
I know it would offend all of you if I picked myself!
Plus, even that dirty joke doesn't offend me, am I sick or what?!!
OK!!!! So... the REAL winner this week is....
Arpeggio Andy
For his hilariously offensive post about how not to discipline your dog.
YAY!!
Congratulations, Andy!!
You may choose from one of the following awards, made just for you:
Again, thanks to everyone for playing along, and don't forget to play again this week!!
May the best offender win.
Hooyah!! (again)
:)
22 Offensive Comments:
I suppose my comment was just a little too late.
I insult dog lovers AND koreans, and all he does is threaten to zap a dog?
ChelleB, is he sleeping with you? :P
Seriously though, congrats to the award weiner. I do enjoy a good offensive.
And thanks to ChelleB, so we can all enjoy more offenses!
If I had an award to give out, I'd give it to chelleB.
I'd like to close it off by saying,
Q:Whats the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies?
A: You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.
What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of sexually-violated dead babies? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
I totally MISSED that joke about the teddy bear! Wow. Totally offensive!
I did read the thing about the puppy. If I had read that, I would have totally taken it as serious. Especially since my ex husband actually did have an overly yippy dog and he purchased a zap collar for him. I don't remember if it worked, but it sure was fun to hear him yelp when he started to bark! Even more fun if you got to see it! Muahahahahaha!
He was an evil dog that I'm sure deserved much more torture than that.
BTW, apparently I said something so offensive last week in a post that a certain reader has now shunned me. Not openly. But just by posting a message that CLEARLY made reference to me and then said he will have nothing to do with "that type" of person.
I am happy to oblige him.
You're lucky I don't have any tear ducts otherwise I'd be a bawling mess over here. ;op
I'll have to check out that dude's post later.
Teri, who be mean to you?? Meh, we (me and my other personalities) think you're cool!
I missed the deadline:(
this stupid holiday we celebrate got in my way. geez, i use a little of your sperm to make a child and you think you deserve a special day...gawd.
OMG I feel dirty just retelling that joke! but, of course, i did!
Hey, I'm glad I have my peeps that like my offensive little self!
I just noticed, though, how many times I said the word TOTALLY in my last comment.
What a dork.
Wow. You are GOOD.
I was momentarily offended, and that, well...it takes a LOT.
:)
Wow I haven't heard dead baby jokes since I was in grade school!
And that is when the world was black & white instead of in color too.
Thank you Chelle B for bestowing this ilustrious honor upon me. It's so hard to choose from those fine awards. I supposse the Barney Fife award would be the most appropriate for my blog. I would like to thank everyone for visiting the blog, and 'Myles the wonder dog' would like to thank everyone for getting so much enjoyment from the thought of his being in pain.
I am *so* offended that a gun to a dogs head beats a cat on a cross - WTF the world *is* going to the dogs. Congrats to Arpeggio Andy and next time I will offend by sexually torturing a hippo. That should get me a win. CIAO!
Gosh...I'm one of the LEAST offensive people I know.
Nuns read my blog for an alternative to reading the Bible...
I'm just saying...
The Teddy Bear joke...very nice. Very nice indeed...LOL
Wow, I haven't been this offended for literally hours! I feel dirty now.
Well done to Andy for your services to winding up teenage girls!
@ Voodoo ~ Yes, but believe me, I've been to your site and you have enough offenses there to win every future Weekender Offender award possible! :p
@ Mike ~ Awww, thanks and no, we don't sleep, silly! Actually, I chose him because (a) his offense was funny since he perpetrated it on the masses at Yahoo Answers and (b) I think his blog needs some attention, ie readers, ie so go read it and subscribe dammit. :)
@ Teri ~ WHO SAID THAT ABOUT YOU?!! I will kick some ass!! :(
@ Bee ~ I'm with you, I *heart* Teri. Whoever doesn't is a bastard and needs an attitude adjustment!! :/
@ Jaime ~ Sorry!!! But save it up, I'm getting ready to post a link at the top of my blog so you can enter the next round, k?? :)
@ Matt ~ Welllll, it could be that you need a shower. I'm just sayin'. :p
@ Kate ~ Thank you!! :D
@ Barry ~ It has turned a bit juvenile here, I blame Voodoo. ;)
@ Andy ~ Thank YOU for participating and the fact that you perpetrated the offense upon the easily offended over at Yahoo Answers is what cinched the deal. :)
@ Jailbird ~ Wellllll between you and me, your offensive card was tied with Andy's dog story for winning spot.
He edged you out only because I loathe Yahoo Answers and after all the attention I've given you already, I didn't want you to think I was a stalker or have a weird crush on you or something!!
Which I may or may not have, but that is besides the point. :p
@ Blonde Goddess ~ You MUST enter my next round, pretty please?!! I love your blog and your sense of humor, you'd totally be a contender. :D
@ Tiggy ~ Hehehe, I thought the answers Andy received from those high strung teenage girls were the best.
He *is* such a monster!! :p
I finally got a chance to read the winner's post...lmao! props to him for pissin so many people off so easily. that's talent. good pick!
conglaratulation baby...
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Remember, anything you say might highly offend someone... but hey, to hell with those sissy bastards, say it anyway!!