The "Caption This Evil Jack-o-lantern!!" Offensive

8 Oct

Whoo-hooooo, oh yeah, Halloween is coming! Why am I excited?! Um, because MY birthday is the day after Halloween!! Yep, on All Saint’s Day. (Stop laughing – I too am a saint, dammit!!!!!!) OK, not really, but that gives you exactly 23 days to shop for my birthday and no offense, but you better get me something good. With fancy wrapping and stuff!! Otherwise you may find out just how Unsaintly I can be!! :p

So, to celebrate the coming of Halloween and my birthday (which is the day after Halloween, on All Saint’s Day mind you, did I mention that already? I did? Did you mark your calendar? Oh, well that’s alright, I’ll wait……………………………………………………. Done?? Thanks!!)

Uh, where was I? Oh yeah! While we wait for my birthday to get here, why not caption this evil Jack-o-lantern picture for me:


Oh, and in lieu of presents for my birthday, which is the day after Halloween on All Saint’s Day, you could just clicky-click below and vote for me as THE Humor Blogger of the Year. :)

*** THANK YOU FOR SUBSCRIBING TO MY OFFENSES!!! ***
  • Anonymous
    And I had his liver...with some Pumpkin Seeds and a nice Chianti...
  • I told you damn rotten kids to stay off of my lawn! Now look what you made me do!
  • The circumcision that Chelle performed was actually a lot messier than this. It wasn't as tasty, though.
  • Mr. B.
    "That's right mother fucker, now go tell the other Mormon boys that I ain't messin' around!"
  • Rob Zombie's remake of the remake of the remake of the remake... of the sequel of the sequel of the sequel of the sequel...

    Michael Returns: He's a gourd now, but he's still got that fucking mask!

  • You ask me why I am so angry? Look closely at the picture! I cannot masturbate for I have no genitals! I am a fucking UNICH and even if I had parts, I have no hands to rub one out....
  • Oooh....Me thinks me forgot the safety word.
  • Anonymous
    You won't be cheating with that watermelon ever again!
  • Can someone PLEASE help me put this mask on so I can go Trick or Treating? I can't move my freekin arms!
  • well you win huh ?
  • "TRICK!". . .
  • What kind of toy surprise is this?!?
  • Aaargh! I win - you dead!!!!
  • WAAAAAAAH! Why do all those nasty brats throw things at me? Why can't I wear a costume, too?
  • AND NO, GOD DAMMIT! I DO NOT WANT A COMPLIMENTARY COPY OF THE WATCHTOWER!
  • I will be avenged!
  • "And you can tell THAT to your bogus magazine-subscription-selling BUDS, too!!!"
  • lmao. . .
  • These are all great, but uh, @ Rubba, you are totally turning me on with your captions... hahaha!!
  • Tony
    HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW, BITCH!
  • "You dumb bastard! I told you the box marked candles, not M-80's."
  • CAUGHT ON TAPE! A mother's reaction to yet another senseless drive-by carving!
  • AH SHIT!!! I GOT PUMPKIN GUTS ON MY NEW BRUNO MAGLIS!!!
  • THERE CAN BE ONLY ONEEEEE!!!!!
  • Wait - Didn't Chelle say her Birthday was April 15th, then May 31st, then June 12th, then ....

    This is a Jack-o- Lantern... This is a Jack-o-lantern on drugs :))

  • Chrissy
    No more CANDY CORN! I hate CANDY CORN!
  • Since the Charlie Brown specials were supposed to be kid-friendly, it was obvious why Linus was not allowed to find The Great Pumpkin.
  • Oh, that is priceless -- Chelle B. born on All Saint's Day -- hehehe

    "I told you, don't Jack with me. I will fuck you up!"


    I know -- I suck at captions!




  • ^^^didn't^^^

    And I apologize for that post in advance. . lol

  • "What part of "you give me face and I'll eat you out" did't you understand?"
  • Lois was extremely hard to live with when suffering from Pumpkin Menstrual Syndrome. . .
  • Happy Halloween From the Dahmer Residence. . .
  • Hey you bastards, this is going to be George if he keeps shitting on my lawn!!!
  • Anybody else want a piece of this? Anybody else think I need a corn cob pipe and two eyes made out of coal? Anybody?
  • Figures, that explains it all your birthday the day after Halloween. :) Oh, yeah the pic... Now, see, that's what you get for messin' with me.
  • THIS...IS...SPARTA!!!!!!
  • Too late, Gladys realized that he'd stopped attending his anger management classes.
  • Jack knew his pumpkin pie addiction had gone too far. It is time for an intervention.
  • GOSHDARNIT, we didn't win the election?? I'll take care of that Obama!
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