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Hi, I'm Chelle B. and I am The Offended Blogger.
"In the last days, many shall be offended..."
Hey, Jesus (not my taco truck guy, the other one) is the one who said it, I am just helping to make sure the prophesy comes true!
I live in Idaho, just under the Grand Tetons, where I am stocking my secret, underground Armageddon bunker with bullets and toilet paper.
I have an obsession with things blowing up and Rammstein, not necessarily in that order. Lucky for me, they share my obsession: Oh, and I am also Die Führer over at:So goosestep your happy ass over and check out some of the funniest blogs ever!
"Wanna buy some McCrack McMuthafucka"
"The war on obesity has hit Ronald McDonald hard"
"Wanna see my McNuggets"
"Ya got a spare big mac man?"
Dear Ms. Chelle B,
I fear this picture of a recently out-sourced employee is one that merits comment.
To wit, as many from Wall Street to Wal-Mart to the Great Wall of China has experienced of late, things are tight, my stock has plummeted and you got to cut back where you got to cut back.
That said, we are not going to give out 'free' lettuce or tomatoes on any future sandwiches. In addition there will be a small surcharge for the bun, and if you need to use our restrooms, it might be a good idea to bring your own TP.
Simply put, we found an out of work CEO from GM (or was he from the Republican party?), that needed a quick few bucks and his resume was a bit more impressive.
We are compassionate though, as we allowed this highly valued former employee to eat his last happy meal (at no charge) and allowed him to keep his business attire.
Happy days will be here again, so I encourage all of you to celebrate, eat responsibly and come over for a happy meal to your favorite McDonald's restaurant soon!
Careers@ McDonald's
It's not just a job, it's a career.
James Collins
V.P. & G.M. Greater Southwest Region
"McHobo anyone?"
"Times are hard, this is what you get with a Happy Meal these days. Now fuck off!"
"McDonalds is happy to announce its merger with the Dollar Store"
"Times were hard for Ronald. He had lost his job, the credit crunch was too much. McDonalds had wanted to broaden their horizons and attract a wider influx of cultural diversity. Big ginger Ronald just could not compete with the new islamic face of fast food: Rohanald McHammed."
Btw Offended Blogger...you have been 'Tagged'. My new post explains all! Keep up the offending!
Wtf? You think this cig is gonna kill me faster than that Happy Fat Ass Meal you're about to eat? Fuck you, fat boy!!!
grrrr...I suck. I try so hard too. I mean I try hard to say something funny -- not suck.
"Fuck you, kids. I got of work an hour a go, so take your fucking happy meal and shove it where the sun don't shine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to get pissing drunk and, hopefully, I'll get laid while I'm still sober enough to get it up."
But you suck so well Angie... ;)
"The Obama plan of equalization worked for me. Not only do I have this sweet ride, but my cigs are free."
Damn. That should, of course be "I got off work" not "I got of work". I've got to learn to proofread my comments more carefully BEFORE hitting the "Post Comment" button. Either that or stop commenting while I'm pissing drunk.
And, of course, there should be a comma after "of course" in my correction comment above. Oh, never mind. I give up. I'm going to have another drink.
I think it's the dude from Monkey Tails
Crystal meth - I'm lovin' it.
"No one can have just one... No, that's not it.. We make it your way.. No.. Taste Fresh? No.." *scratches butt, head, and armpit simultaneously*
"I got it!"
"Do me your way!"
Ronald McDonald Houses all over the friggin' country and I'm livin' on the god damn streets?
"You want a piece of me kids, huh, do you?"
"The rape allegations by Wendy really hit Ronald hard."
"Unfavorable taste test results for the new "McCock Sandwich" sent McDonald's stocks plummeting."
"John Wayne Gacy tries a new gig."
"Another Liberal Arts degree at work."
"Does this outfit make me look homeless?"
"McDonalds took masturbating in the children's milkshakes very seriously."
"Hey kids, let this be a lesson to you. Stay in school or you could end up working at and sleeping under the golden arches too. Got any spare change? Any allowance you don't need?"
Hard times USA Kids. Me and Mrs. McDonald had a little "misunderstanding" when she caught me having relations with Wendy. She took everything and moved in with the Burger King. Now I'm stuck out here on the streets, with nothing but my Wienerschnitzel.
I hate laundry day.