No offense, but this is just not a good day for me. Not only do I have the flu because one of you sick bastards left your cooties all over my blog again, but I am also feeling totally fucking depressed over the fact that my crazy, suicidal Fatwa friends from Iran are no longer allowed to visit non-Islamic websites. Which in case you aren’t aware, includes my very own lovely, non-Islamic (and quite kosher!) blog.
Oi Vey!
:*(
Those loony bastards were always my favorite #1 fans, too, and would faithfully hit my blog whenever I would write an Islamic Offensive, or issue Fatwas on things or people which pissed me off, or especially whenever I felt bold enough to reveal how much I admire the Illuminati Zionist spawns of Satan and their plans for total world domination!
Ugh.
I am really going to miss them. My suicidal Fatwa friends are the ones who told me all about the Illuminati Zionist’s plot to begin with!
The worst part is that I am sure that right now they are rioting in the streets of Tehran, demanding that they will blow themselves up if they aren’t given back access to my blog:
Don’t get me wrong, it IS very sweet of them to threaten to blow up Mecca on account of me, but I hate the thought that they would risk facing a firing squad, or being stoned to death or having their manhood cut off with a rusty Persian sword and then forced to parade around town in shame and utter humiliation while wearing their bloody, severed testicles dangling around their neck.
:*(
Between you and me, I don’t particularly want eunuch Fatwa friends!! The thought of it really sickens me in fact. Only real men are allowed to visit my blog, dammit!
Preferably wearing kilts!!
And tossing cabers!!
You know, I should issue a Fatwa on Iran for causing such distress to my #1 fans as well as to me for making me think about my Fatwa friends losing their manhood.
Then again, maybe I won’t need to!
Maybe after they suicide bomb Mecca, my Fatwa friends will trigger a mass exodus into Israel and Islamics all over the world will be converting to Judaism by the millions just so they can be free to read my lovely blog!!
Yep, I can just imagine it:
Hooyah!!
It would serve them right, too, because we ALL know that my Illuminati Zionist spawn of Satan friends in Israel would never block access to The Offended Blogger!!
They know if they ever do, my ACLU certified Jewish lawyer will be all over that shit.
Thursday, November 20th, 2008, 7:24 am | 
Islamic Offensives | 
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