The "Why Vote? We All Know Who Runs the World!" Offensive

Soooo, while the rest of you sheep were all racing off to the polls to cast your votes for the creepy old fascist dude and his airheaded, "you betcha!" bimbo, who are in fact bent on global corporate domination and will turn us all into third-worlders working in slave labor call centers, or casting your vote for the black socialistic commie, who by the way, wants to open up Gulags for those of us who refuse to work our asses off just to make sure that poor homeless heroin addict bastard has new shoes when he OD's and dies in the gutter in a pool of his own filth, guess what I was doing??

Erm, no, not looking at clown porn and Googling myself.

Ugh.

You are such a perv!!!

Well, I'll tell you what I'm NOT doing, and that is voting, and really, you shouldn't either, because we all know that your vote does not count because we all know who really runs the world:



Heh.

That's right, and notice that the politicians are not down there with the rest of us on the pyramid!!

Come on, you know it's true - "THEY" are the children of the devil and the politicians are their puppets, and "THEY" know that we all know but "THEY" don't care because "THEY"also know that we keep quiet about it because, well, dammit, "THEY" produce quality porn and cheesy Hollywood movies for "OUR" enjoyment and moral deprecation.

Hooyah!!

Hey, don't look at me like that, it's true!! I morally deprecate myself daily, thanks to "THEM".

OK, I know what you're thinking, "Chelle B., where do you get your information from, Google??"

Uh, no!! Google is the ringleader aka Antichrist, duh.

I got it from the source:

No, not that source.

Those crazy bastards think everyone, including me, is the son of the devil and worthy of a Fatwa.

Pfft.

I mean, this source:

See???

So there you have it. I told you. You wasted your vote.

What do you mean, you don't speak Hebrew?? Well I do, and believe me, he confirms it.

Vote wasted, they rule the world.

OK, that's not exactly true.

He wasn't really my source but to be honest, I really fucking wish he was and I REALLY FUCKING WISH I had gotten it from him!!!

That's right because Benjamin Netanyahu is muy caliente and between you and me, I'd like to get it from him every day. Right now, in fact!!

I mean I can't help it, I just look at that picture and imagine that deep, rich voice of his saying dirty, filthy, deprecating things to me in his Hebrew tongue.

Ohhhh yeahhh.

Hell, I'd let him give it to me twice.

Then, I'd give it back.

Then...

Oh, heh, sorry, where was I??

Oh yeah!!

My actual source!!

Well, I verified all of this, including my sophisticated graph, with my favorite uncle, who also just happens to be a Professor of Theology at a local prominent college here:

Yeah, I know.

It is kinda sad, really, being such a total perv, he's one of their biggest defenders, but still. He knows his shit and when I asked him if the rumors were all true, he grunted, "yes".

Then he told me to get the fuck out of his house so he could finish without me staring at him.

:(

Thanks, I feel sorry for me, too.

But not as sorry as I feel for you!! I mean, I am not one of the mindless sheep who ran to the polls to cast my vote for some pathetic puppet of the Google-Zionist-Illuminati regime!!

Nope, I spent my day looking at pictures of Benjamin Netanyahu and Googling myself, instead.

Which is what you should have been doing.

Don't look at me like that.

You know he's hot.

;)

Chelle B.