The "Groundhog Kabobs… Yum!!" Offensive
2 Feb
What could be better than following up the big “O”’s (and I do mean big!) b-day with the best holiday ever?!! Noooo, it’s not Dr. Phil’s birthday silly, that isn’t until September 1st. Everyone knows that, right? What I mean is that it is Groundhog Day!!!
Yup and I don’t know about you, but here at my house we celebrate it in our own special way with traditions that have been passed down from generation to generation.
Since you are my #1 fan and all that, I thought I’d share with you my favorite family recipes for “Groundhog Kabobs”:
My Granny’s recipeTh’ Ingreedients:
1 Still breathin’, co’n-fed Groun’hog
3 Ripe but firm tomatoes
1 Large white o’ yeller onion
1/2 poun’ large mooshrooms
2 large green peppers
1 packuge meat mareenade
1/2 cup soy saooce
12 skewers (pointy sticks is otay)
Prepareeshun: Th’ Groun’hog muss be alive so thet yo’ kin scare it, givin’ yo’ th’ “wild” taste fum all th’ adrenaline it prodooces. It is bess to hit it on over th’ haid wif a large objeck in a hoomine manner. Boil th’ varmint fo’ 3 minutes t’loosen th’ fur then hide an’ gut it.
De-limb (chop th’ li’l knubby legs off) th’ Groun’hog an’ lop th’ meat into 1/2 inch square chunks. Marinate on overnight in a mixture of meat marinade an’ soy saooce.
Thread th’ meat an’ veggies onto yer skewer/stick in alternatin’ sequences t’distribute th’ delicious flavo’ evenly. Cook th’ Groun’hog over a barbecue, pit, 50 gallon drum o’ enny other fire till yo’ git th’ desuhed result.
Fo’ added flavo’, yo’ kin cook it on over burnin’ tires.
My Great Granny’s recipeIngredients, dig dis:
1 Still breadin’, co’n-fed Possum
3 Ripe but firm tomatoes
1 Large honky o’ yellow onion
1/2 pound large mushrooms
2 large green peppuh’s
1 package meat marinade
1/2 cup soy sauce
12 skewers (sticks is coo’ too)
Preparashun: De possum gots’ta be alive so’s dat ya’ kin scare it, givin’ ya’ de “wild” taste fum all de adrenaline it produces. It be best to hit it upside de haid wid some large object in some humane manner. Ah be baaad… Boil de possum fo’ 3 minutes t’loosen de fur den skin and gut it. Man!
De-limb (chop de little knubby legs off) de possum and cut de meat into 1/2 inch square chunks. Marinate overnight in some mixture uh meat marinade and soy sauce.
Dread da damn meat and veggies onto yo’ skewer/stick in alternatin’ sequences t’distribute da damn delicious flavo’ evenly. Slap mah fro! Cook upside a barbecue, pit, 50 gallon drum o’ any oda’ fire till ya’ dig de desired result. Man! Fo’ added flavo’, ya’ kin cook it upside burnin’ tires.
Me Great, Great Granny’s recipeIngredients:1 Still breabugger, corn-fed groundsquirrel
3 Ripe but firm tomatoes
1 Large wite or yellow onion
1/2 pound large mushrooms
2 large green peppers
1 package meat marinade
1/2 cup soy sauce
12 skewers (sticks are okay right mate)
Preparation: The chuffin’ groundsquirrel must be alive so that yer can scare it, right, givin’ yer the bloomin’ “wild” taste from all the adrenaline it produces. It is Mae West to ‘it it over the head wiv a large object in an ‘umane manner. Boil the chuffin’ groundsquirrel for 3 minutes ter loosen the bleedin’ fur then skin and gut it.
De-limb (chop the wee knubby legs off) the chuffin’ groundsquirrel and cut the bloomin’ meat into 1/2 inch square chunks. Marinate overnight in a mixture of meat marinade and soy sauce.
Fread the meat and veggies onto yor skewer/stick in alternatin’ sequences ter distribute the delicious flavor evenly. Cook over a barbecue, pit, right, 50 gallon spoons or any uvver fire till yer cop the desired result. For added flavor, yer can cook it over burnin’ tires.
