The "Holy Hell, I’m Surrounded by Meatheads and Dingbats!" Offensive

20 May

Imagine my surprise when I realized that not only am I a minority in a sea of “M” words (see my last post because I’m too distraught to even link it, let alone spell out what the “M” words are), but now I find out that I’m also completely alone and alienated on the front page of Google!!

I know.

Oh, sure, I’m still hanging in there in the top 10 overall for “offended” on Google search, and I still own the top spot for extreme sodomy AND for self testicle torture (hooyah! and yes, I DO Google myself regularly, sometimes multiple times a day – they say it will help me live longer so don’t judge!) but believe me, sitting at #6 for “offended” just doesn’t make me feel as warm and fuzzy as it should or could when I look at who I’m surrounded by:

Ugh.

I guess it could be worse, it could be the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence on top of me and NMBLA under me, or vice versa, but holy hell, I still feel just like Archie Bunker!!!!!!!!!

Well, you know, except I’m blond.

….with blue eyes.

…and larger breasts.

OK, maybe not that last part.

Hey, I do love Jesus more than he did at least!!

I’d let him be on top.

Ohhhh yeahhh.

;)

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  • Owning the keywords for extreme sodomy and self testicle torture, yet this is not a XXX blog.

    That speaks volume for your blog's influence.
  • Hey, it could be worse. You could rank #15 for "whale penis" keyword searches...btw, Google in Firefox has the 'Promote to first page' button next to each link...that's how I plan to launch my whale penis link to #1. =)

    Also, Archie's tits were pretty big.
  • I guess it could always be worse. Besides, they make our own families look like "Leave it to Beaver." And we all love a good beaver!
  • When is sodomy NOT extreme?

    It is always extreme.

    Extremely AWESOME.

    Note: I'm a giver...not a taker. Homosexuals please take notice. Thanks in advance.
  • Chelle, at least you have a number on Google. I am not even number three at work!
  • maybe if you put your boobs up they will shoot ya to #1
  • Could be worse (or better, depending upon your perspective.) Because of a couple joke posts I once did, I'm now one of the top pages if you do a Google search for moms sucking dog's cocks.
  • @ Quirky - Good point, he's not the worst person to aspire to! :)

    @ Don - Oh my, I read that as 'fist and some tacos' at first. Whew! Not that I'd disagree.. ;)

    @ kathcom - Lance Armstrong and Hitler are more alike than most people realize! :p

    @ dani c - I'd loan you mine, but the hubs will be home soon and he might want to play with them. :D
  • Why can't I have "bigger breasts" ?
  • Don't feel too bad. I'm now #10 on the Google search for "slutdating"-- Lance Armstrong may have ridden his one ball to victory many times, but my post on him isn't getting me jack. (Oops, sticky pun!)
  • Don
    Archie Bunker's picture is over my bed! I'm not sure about letting the taco truck driver, Jesus, near for awhile. Third place sucks. May as well be last of millions. Only first is worth living for...and some tacos
  • Chelle...you say feeling like Archie Bunker like it's a bad thing?

    I aspire to be like him!

    Sinseriously!
  • @ LiLu - Whew, I'm glad you didn't misconstrue that sentence to mean I'd let Archie be on top!

    On bottom, maybe, but definitely not on top. I reserve top billing for my jalapeno-flavored lover boy. ;)
  • You'd let Jesus be on top?

    I am so glad I found you today.

    So very, very glad.
  • @ roentarre - I am scared too! Hold me?

    Um, move your hands off my ass though. No, NOT there. Ugh! :p

    @ Unfinishedrambler - Now what would make you suspect such a thing? It did not even occur to me once as I wrote the title and intro that on the HBDC feed it would give that impression. ;)

    @ DouglasDyer - Well now I am going to think about you thinking about extreme sodomy all day! Pervert! :p

    @ Mike - "Now I'm having a hard time keeping up"... those were your exact words back in 2nd grade! Glad to see you're still the same. :)
  • I'm offended that you're blogging again. Now I'm having a hard time keeping up.

    Oh hell.

    Glad to see you're at least the #3 offensive in all of google. Couldn't have happened to anyone more deserving.

    Or Aryan looking ;)
  • Extreme sodomy. I'm not googling that from work. But it is all I'll think about until I get home.
  • At first, I thought you were going to say that you were surrounded by folks from HBDC and were referring to me. Then I read the post: whew! :)
  • So politically correct that I am truely scared :)
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