The "I Don’t Need Jesus, I Have a Vibrating Zucchini!" Offensive

22 May

Ha! I not only won the coveted Zucchini award over at Da Old Man’s place, but I am the first EVER to win the exclusive, deluxe, vibrating version! Yep, it was made just for me because, well, apparently my entry into the caption contest was so offensive that Da Old Man thinks I am a pervert and assumes I would enjoy a vibrating trio of phallus shaped edibles.

He’s right, too.

Hooyah!!

OK, so technically I am the one who turned it into an exclusive, deluxe, vibrating version but I’m pretty sure Da Old Man would approve.

Feast your eyes on this bad boy:


No, you can’t borrow it!

I’m spending all weekend holed up in the bunker with it since the hubs is out of town and Jesus had to drive the taco truck down to Tijuana to restock with sticky “incense” before the tourist rush starts next week.

Mmmmmmmm, zucchini.

:)

*** THANK YOU FOR SUBSCRIBING TO MY OFFENSES!!! ***
  • You pry won't read any of these until Friday.. I figure you are holed up until Monday night.. and it will be Thursday before you stop shaking.. and then you will need to sleep.. so .. see ya on Friday...
  • Wow, I am jealous...I have yet to receive this award, and I can only imagine what it must feel like to achieve the vibrating version.
  • @ Chris - You are welcome. I don't think of it as food anymore, either. ;)

    @ Don - I'm sure I could hook a solar panel up to it, but then I'd have to stand out in the sun to use it. Hmm! :)
  • Don
    I understand that since his wife is out of work that they can no longer afford batteries for hers so that what you won. Congratulations.
  • And now I can't ever eat zucchini again. Not that it's my favorite food, but still.

    Thanks so much, Chelle.
  • @ hippychikky - OMG IS IT REALLY YOU?!! Ha! I'm heading to Twitter now to stalk you. :)

    @ nonamedufus - Tha-tha-nk-nkk-yoooouuuuu! :p

    @ Mr. Condescending - Ahoy! ;)
  • get in the crows nest and yell LAND HO!
  • Con-con-con-gra-gra-gra-tulations-ions-ions.
  • hippychikky
    Hey tried to twitter twatter your ass ......... you drink you boat you lose!!!! Be safe in them there waters ;)
  • @ Mr. C - Oh wow, I didn't realize I was being so loud with it! Over exuberance, you know... ;)

    @ Mike - Well... not EVERY orifice, but the ones that count! :)

    @ Lady Sarcasm - What, you don't like my graveyard archive? Pfft... :p

    @ Winky - Let's hope and if so, please don't tell the hubs. It would deflate his ego. ;)
  • Hah! You're gonna have the best weekend evahh!
  • LOL! Finally you get it. hehe

    Oh and get rid of the crosses in your sidebar links lmao
  • Wow, you have a vibrating zucchini for each orifice!

    What a weekend you'll have ;)
  • I woke up thinking someone was calling me because my phone was buzzing. Turns out it was just your vibrating zucchini award.

    We all wish we could write as clever captions as you. And we all wish we could spell chatahootchie.
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