Have you ever noticed just how many people talk funny? I don’t mean the ones who have a bit of an accent or fail to enunciate their words properly, either. I mean the ones who start life like this kid…
…and then never progress past ‘lalalalalalalalalalalala’.
Heh.
They’re the ones that usually stare at your boobs and drool while saying it, too.
Or what about assholes like this guy who abbreviate certain words in an attempt to sound all bad ass:
I know!
What a loser, huh?!
Everyone knows he just talks like that to compensate for having a small penis.
There is really no excuse for speaking improperly no matter how big or small your junk is, though. Believe me, I speak from experience here because at one time I, too, had a bit of a speech impediment and it nearly ruined my life!
It’s true!!!
It really got me into a lot of trouble growing up, especially with my older sister who was a mean bitch to begin with. She constantly misunderstood my pronunciation of the term ‘shiny lips’:
Hey, it wasn’t my fault that the syphilis rumor I accidentally started turned out to be true or that she is now a middle aged hermit spinster who lives with 12 cats and is lobbying for the right to enter into a civil union with one of them!!
The same thing happened with my older brother, well except for the wanting to marry his cat part.
When I was 6 he nearly killed me for innocently calling him a ‘hobo’:
OK, so I really was calling him a homo but I couldn’t help it!
Turns out he was a homo and my gaydar was already fired up with precision tuning even at such an early age. To this day it has yet to fail me, either.
Hooyah!
Anyhoo, lucky for me that I learned to speak properly and that he has embraced his homosexuality because he thinks it’s funny now when I call him a ‘flaming sodomite who will fry like a piece of bacon when Jesus returns to judge us all‘:
That’s right, and who has the speech impediment now, mo’ fo’??!!
:p
Monday, October 12th, 2009, 11:28 pm | 
Gay Offensives, Linguistic Offensives, Personal Offensives | 
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