The "What We Have Here is a Failure to Excommunicate!" Offensive

14 Oct

Remember the good old days, back when the media was obsessed with pedophile priests instead of all this boring crap about swine flu and the sinking economy and Jon and Kate plus hate or whether or not Obama deserved a Nobel Peace prize (which he so fucking didn’t ugh!!!)??

I know! I miss those days, too!

I mean honestly, who could ever tire of seeing this mental image at night when you ‘lay yourself down to sleep and pray the Lord your soul to keep’?


Hooyah!!

I mean next to waiting to see if Iran would nuke Israel or vice versa, that is soooooo much more entertaining, right??

Right.

We both know those perverted priests haven’t all been excommunicated, either. They’re just not what’s ‘hot’ anymore so CNN, Fox News and that other news channel ignore them but I decided to go down and do some investigative journalism at my own local Catholic church and was utterly shocked at what I found going on:

Erm, not that.

That old bastard always makes me kneel for him as soon as he sees me, it’s our unholy ritual of sorts.

I mean this:

I know!

Who knew Bill Gates was a pedophile priest????!!

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  • I think the little priest in their heads are saying "ooooooh may the power of God cum.. ohhhhhhhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhh"
  • I knew Goldilocks was into bestiality and all, but had no idea she was a sadist, as well. And I would have never thought that Kitty had asphyxiophilia. I mean, didn't that cat learn anything from David Carradine? As if being able to lick yourself wasn't enough.

    Kids these days! Buy 'em books, send 'em to parochial school, and all they want to do the fuck the teacher.

    Hey! Isn't that Humbert Humbert?
  • So hilarious that I miss your posting!
  • I think I'm a priest. I love young boys!
    Oh wait...that's a cougar not a priest. I get confused.
  • Being a priest and pedophile is wrong.

    Got it.

    Damn it.

    My Bucket List is getting smaller every day.
  • If I wasn't going to hell already laughing at these has probably done it! By the way thanks for the visit and I signed up to the site this morning

    Kate xx
  • That first one is great.
  • P.S. -- Love the headline (pun intended)!
  • I think you should get down on your knees and thank God you have a close relationship with your priest. Oh, wait. You're Catholic. I guess that's what you're already doing. Well, think of it as a different form of communion.

    I'm going to burn in hell.

    Hope those witch hookers are there to greet me.
  • Wait - you mean there were priests who used to alter little boys? Hmmm...no wonder they were always looking down while sitting in the confessional booth.
  • Now wait a minute. You cannot condemn the man who actually CREATED pedophilia. It's just wrong :)
  • That priest appears to be fraternizing with a... witch! It's like the Inquisition never happened!

    End of days, hell in a handcart, etc, etc.
  • Reminds me of my youth in Catholic school and the Fathers of the Holy Butts Order. Well that's what we used to call them based on the rumours that ran rampant. Haven't been to church in years.
  • Don
    I can't get past the two broads in the pic! Lucky bastard, and the bed is all made too! If I were Catholic I'd be doing hail Mary's about now. If...
  • Oh and the above CONSENDING should be consenting. Just saying.
  • I once read a news story where the catholic higher ups excommunicated a priest and made a huge public stink because he had sex with

    ready for this?

    A CONSENDING ADULT WOMAN.

    But when they diddle kids, it's all hush hush.

    At least you don't have to worry about that with your boys being older and your daughter being female ;)
  • I had to look at the first picture a few times to understand what was going on there. I can't believe I didn't catch it the first time and now I am disappointed with myself.
  • Wait a sec, you mean that thick legged broad isn't 18? Damn...there must be something in the water...
  • Now, this report has a lot of meat to it, something you can really sink your teeth into. Yeow!!!
  • Way to expose corruption in the priesthood... that offends me!
  • Oh, how I miss those good ole days... I mean come on press! You're missing opportunities left and right! You really gonna let this Letterman thing slide by??
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