Soooo you know how women all seem overly paranoid and obsessed about the local sex offenders in their area?
Yeah, I don’t get it either.
I mean, what exactly is the problem??
Hey, I know when I bought my house, my first priority was finding out whether or not there were going to be enough sex offenders within close proximity to me.
Hey, don’t give me that look, I’m serious! I mean, it technically isn’t cheating on Jesus or my hubby if I am the wink-wink “victim”, right?
Right!
Honestly, you tell me, why is that people always ignorantly assume that all sex offenders look like this anyway:
Or this…
Or even worse, like this…
I know for a fact that it just isn’t the case 99% of the time!
OK, fine, maybe in places like Indiana and Ohio that’s what they look like, but here in Idaho, we are lucky to have the cream of the crop with our uber sexy, incredibly handsome sex offenders!
I mean, just take a look at MY local brutes…
…oh, and please, try not to be jealous or drool all over my blog, dammit:
I know!!
I told you!!!
OK, so they don’t look so hot in their sex offender registry database pics, but hey, I give them the benefit of the doubt.
Yep, I just know that they really look like this:
Hooyah!!
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Oh!
Sorry, heh.
I was drooling there for a moment.
Anyhoo, you’ll have to excuse me now while I go remove all of the dead bolts from my doors and take the windows completely out.
Oh, and I also need one of these signs for my front yard:
Hmmmm…. I hope it’s the kilt guy who comes first to OFFEND me.
I am such a sucker for men in kilts. (Just ask Don Lewis!)
Hooyah again!!
:p
