The "Idaho's 1st Gay Trapeze Sex Club" Offensive

Yeah so I have decided that Idaho needs a good, old fashioned trapeze sex club! That's right, it just isn't fair that Florida gets all the fun stuff:

Group sex is not illegal, and the state failed to show that a Fort Lauderdale swingers' club operated with intent to offend, a Broward judge said Wednesday in dismissing lewdness charges against the club's co-owner, Dennis Freeland.

So like I said, I am opening Idaho's first Trapeze sex club, and let me tell you, it will.be.awesome.

Of course I do have a fear of heights and a weak stomach....

...and I am a bit of a germaphobe, so everyone would have to be deloused and decontaminated before I could get down and dirty with them...

...and although I can appreciate a nice rack, I am not really into women, so no lesbian action for me. ...

I mean if this chick shows up, she is going to be sorely disappointed:



...and of course my hubby said I am not allowed to let in any men who aren't gay, so there will only be guys like this in my new awesome Idaho trapeze sex club:

...hmmm, maybe this isn't such a great idea after all.

You know, maybe I'll just open an all-you can eat taco buffet instead, we definitely need more places to get tacos here in Idaho!

:p

My god, do I have to beg for votes over at humor-blogs.com? Is that where we are at in this relationship?!

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The "Expose Your Indecency While You Still Can!!!" Offensive

Ummm so no offense if you are a lawyer, but I think Shakespeare was right. We need to kill all the frigging lawyers!! Why? Well, I just found out that a ruling from the Supreme Court in South Dakota could set a dangerous precedent which could affect the right of every American citizen who enjoys the freedom to partake in a bit of "victimless" indecent exposure!!

See for yourself:

From Channel News 4 in South Dakota:

The South Dakota Supreme Court says state law does not require the actual presence of an offended victim to convict someone of indecent exposure....

I know!!

This is fascism run amok, I tell you!!

Now, don't get me wrong, I am TOTALLY against indecent exposure where there are hapless victims, and I fully support the right for these types of offenders to be arrested, denied a trial, and executed by firing squad at dawn:


But come on, they deserve that sort of swift justice!!

The ones I feel sorry for are like these poor, innocent, unsuspecting skinny dippers who are, as we speak, trapped in legal limbo somewhere outside of Pierre because of this insane new law:


What the hell are they supposed to do??

Stay in the lake and... die??

Ugh!

Plus, you and I both know how abusive and corrupt our police can be! I'm sure they will totally show favoritism toward exposures of indecency who victimize innocent bystanders so long as they look like this:



Ugh.

How frigging fair is that to the rest of us??

And you know it won't stop there, either. The next thing you know, they'll be targeting innocent McDonald's flashers:

Obviously, Ronald McDonald likes it, so what's the big deal?!!

Hey, and what about my own brother who lives in South Dakota and enjoys a bit of victimless flashing every now and then, himself??

Let me tell you, his dog is mighty damn happy that he goes out there and pees on the trees with her every morning, and I do not believe he should be punished just for trying to bond with his little Mookie Pie.

Ugh.

Frgging fascists.

To be honest, I'm glad that I live in Idaho, where we are still pretty much free to commit victimless crimes any time, day or night.

In fact, in honor of my oppressed and suppressed South Dakota brethren, I think I am going to head out and moon all the tourists heading up to Yellowstone right now, before those fascist bastards strip me of my right to moon the public!!

Don't worry, I got some sun while I was out sunbathing and streaking naked through the neighborhood earlier today, so my ass is nice and tan.

Hooyah!!

:)

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